I Am Going To Save You
by Rarely Written
Summary: Merlin is captured by Morgana after she just learns of his magic. Rather than hating him for it, she decides that it's her duty to save him. But with Merlin's stubborn faith in Arthur, will she succeed?
1. Chapter 1

Merlin's hands were chained to the damp wall. The sun was barely shining through the small window, just enough to outline the bared door. How long had he been down here? Merlin had no clue how long he'd been unconscious for and not a single soul had visited him since he'd awoken. The last thing he remembered was being on patrol with Arthur and the knights when some men attacked. Merlin had used magic to stop one of them from stabbing Arthur and for a horrible moment, he thought Arthur had seen. Then everything went dark.

Footsteps echoed down the corridor. A feeling of dread claimed his heart when Morgana's face came into view.

"Hello Merlin."

"Morgana."

Nothing was said for a while. The two sorcerers staring each other down. Then with a golden burn of her eyes Morgana unlocked the door and approached Merlin. Kneeling down to his level, he noticed with a spark of surprise, that there was sympathy in her eyes.

"Poor sweet Merlin, so afraid, so lost," She whispered as she reached out to stroke his cheek.

Merlin flinched away from her touch. What was going on, what was she up to?

"How they have lied to you, and all this time you were so alone."

"What are you talking about?" He asked, trying in vain to escape her.

"You have magic."

Merlin's heart stopped. She knew. She knew and now she was going to kill him. He was going to die in this dungeon so far away from home. But the look in her eyes, the confidence in her voice, Merlin knew there was no point in lying.

Instead he raised his head in defiance, "and what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to save you," She whispered.

A frown creased Merlin's forehead and it prompted Morgana to explain, "You are confused. I know, I was too. I understand, more than anyone else. And I will help you, teach you. You no longer need to be afraid, Arthur cannot hurt you now."

"I am not confused and I am not afraid. You know of my magic and I am going to use that magic to stop you," Merlin promised.

Morgana smiled a sad smile, "And do what? Return to Camelot where you are forced to hide in the shadows in fear? Where Arthur prosecutes our kin?"

"He isn't like that! He is a thousand times better than you will ever be!"

Morgana simply shock her head and left.

Time pasted and Merlin's only visitor was Morgana. At first this always resulted in arguments, or rather the same argument. Over and over, each and every time. It was almost scripted at this point.

"_There is no life for you in Camelot."_

"_I believe in Camelot. I believe in Arthur."_

"_Arthur would murder you if he knew the truth!"_

"_He would never!"_

"_He would see you burn! He is exactly like Uther."_

"_He is nothing like him. Arthur is a better man. A better king! If anyone is like Uther, it is you."_

"_I am nothing like him."_

Weeks turned into months. Merlin wondered how long Morgana's patience would last. Surely she was as sick of this routine as he? And by now she should be convinced of Merlin's loyalty. She should know by now he doesn't need saving, he was never confused. Merlin will always be loyal to Arthur.

This time, however, Morgana came in and was silent. She just stared at Merlin, saying nothing. He did not stare back, instead ignoring her, hoping she would just go away. She didn't, but as she didn't speak, the difference wasn't all that large. Merlin's eyes drifted close, thinking he might as well rest.

"Why did you poison me?"

She might as well have thrown ice water on him; the effect would've been the same. Merlin's eyes snapped open. She didn't sound upset or angry, just curious.

"I… I had no choice. I had to save Camelot."

He did not regret what he did, except he did. The small part of his mind that whispered there was another way. That he could've saved her, that he should've.

Morgana nodded slowly, "To save your friends. I can understand that. It must be hard for you."

He could feel it, the beginning of their argument. They were so close to the shouts that followed.

"I didn't want to hurt you. You gave me no choice."

"I know. There was a time I would sacrifice everything for them. Before I learnt the truth."

"What truth that? That they all hated you and had to die?" Merlin asked, his voice soaked in sarcasm.

"That they lied to me, for years. They let me be afraid."

The guilt punched him in the stomach once more and he reprimanded himself for it. She made her choices.

"So did I."

He said it to avoid the never ending argument between them. Merlin was tired and he was sick of fighting, he wanted to go home.

"You were scared too Merlin. You feared if I found out, Uther would too. But you could trust me Merlin, you _can _trust me," Morgana promised.

Merlin shook his head.

"I am so sorry Merlin."

Merlin didn't respond, his mind numb. It must be a lie, a trick. But it wasn't, because Merlin had seen him with his own eyes. Morgana's castle had been under attack and Merlin had felt hope. Maybe Arthur was going to rescue him, after all this time, he could go home.

But it wasn't a rescue mission. For when Arthur found him, chained and broken, he'd stabbed him. The pain was more than Merlin could've believed. Whether it be from the sword or betrayal, Merlin wasn't sure. It was Morgana who saved him. Using her magic to heal him after Arthur had fled.

He must have seen Merlin's magic in their last encounter and now he hated him.

"I am so sorry."

Merlin was numb.

Merlin had no clue how long he had been here. Months? Years? Centuries? He didn't care. Even if he did escape, what then? Arthur hated him; he had no home, no purpose. He may as well be dead. Yet Morgana still, did not kill him.

She had moved him to a chamber for him to recover and he hasn't moved from it since. But one could say, he hasn't recovered.

"Good morning Merlin, I have some breakfast for you," Morgana smiled as she entered the room.

He didn't answer. He never did.

She set the tray on the table and approached him. Sitting on the edges of the bed she tried to catch his eye.

"Say something, please," It was unusual for her to beg. He must be looking worse.

"Arthur will pay for what he's done to you, I promise."

But he didn't want Arthur to pay. He loved Arthur as a brother. He only wanted his acceptance.

Instead he got his judgment on the tip of his blade.

Merlin was moved again, but this one came as quite a shock. He was in Camelot, in Arthur's room. Morgana explained to him how she taken over Camelot. That Arthur had escaped but she would find him. Merlin was less concerned than he should be. What did it matter in the end? Though he was still pleased that Arthur lived, it was a small comfort.

_He still lives, that means he still hates you._

And gone was the comfort.

"This is your room now. We can make it be anything you want it to be! You are home Merlin, we are both home," Morgana smiled, her hand covering Merlin's.

Merlin closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

As it turned out, being back in Camelot helped. Merlin didn't expect it too, but walking the familiar corridors and seeing the familiar sights Merlin found Morgana was right; he was home.

He missed his friends, though they must hate him as much as Arthur. He did miss Gaius and prayed that he was well. He knew Gaius wouldn't hate him. When he found his grave down in the dark crypts Merlin spent the night in Morgana's arms, sobbing his heart out.

Morgana found him books upon books to read. Most were about magic, though not all. Morgana spent her nights by his fire, listening to all the things Merlin had learnt. When he'd grown adventurous enough, she'd taken him riding outside the city walls. The forest was as beautiful as Merlin remembered. As they galloped along, he forgot about Arthur and the rest of it. For one lovely minute, he was free. But as they slowed down it all caught up to him and he's smile dropped.

"Merlin? What's wrong?" Morgana asked, riding over so she could reach out to him.

He was so sick of what was wrong. He wanted to be like he was a second ago, free. So instead of answering her, he crushed his lips to hers. Together, they slid off their horses and onto the ground.

On the forest floor they tore at each other. Their hunger for the other overwhelming and the passion they shared made Merlin forget everything, even his own name.

Merlin didn't love Morgana, not really. Everything between them was simply lust and desperate need to escape. He did need her though, so when she asked him to marry her there was only one answer.

The resulting feast in celebration was glorious. It was more than Merlin thought he could handle, but Morgana laid her hand on top of his. It grounded and calmed him. He could do this, put up with all the joy and people, for her. And when she smiled at him his heart stuttered for a moment and maybe, just maybe, he could learn to love this beautiful woman.

The woman who saved him.

Many miles from Camelot, a raven carried a message from a spy. It told of the queen's engagement to Merlin. It updated Merlin's improved condition with despair and pity. It said he was lost.

Arthur refused to believe it.

He burnt it, repeating the vow he'd made to reclaim Camelot and bring Merlin back to him. He didn't know of the hardships she'd put him through, though the sorcerer they'd captured some time ago did shed light on the trick Morgana played to break Merlin's faith in him. But he knew that somehow, someway, he could restore his manservant to who he used to be.

Gwen approached the former king and he held her close.

"We're losing him. Each and every day I lose a little more," He whispered to her.

"We can bring him back," Gwen promised with a kiss.

Arthur prayed she was right.


	2. Squeal!

**Hello everyone. This is just to tell you that if you're still interested I've posted the first part of the squeal. It's called **_**Can You Save Me?**_** Sorry that it took so long. Below is the summary. **

Merlin is Morgana's puppet and Arthur is desperate to save him, but is it possible? Or has Merlin truly been lost forever and by trying to save him, will Arthur be lost too?


End file.
